(Chorus) My tea’s gone cold, I’m wonder why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can’t see at all
And even if I could it’d all be gray, but your
picture on my wall
It reminds me that it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad
Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain’t callin’
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in Autumn, you must not have got them
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin’
Sometimes I scribble addresses to slobby when I jot them
But anyway, fuck it, what’s been up man? How’s your daughter?
My girlfriend’s pregnant too, I’m ’bout to be a father!
If I have a daughter, guess what I’m gonna call her? I’m gonna
name her Bonnie
I read about your uncle Ronnie too, I’m sorry
I had a friend who killed himself over some bitch that didn’t want them
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I’m your biggest fan!
I even got the underground shit that you did with scam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with druckis too, that shit was bad
Anyway, I hope you get this man
hit me back, just to chat, truly yours, this is your biggest fan...
this is Stan
Repeat Chorus
Dear slim, you still ain’t called or wrote,
I hope you have a chance…
I ain’t mad, I just think it’s fucked up you don’t answer fans.
If you didn’t wanna talk to me outside the concert, you didn’t have to
But you could have signed an autograph for Mathew,
That’s my little brother man, he’s only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you for four hours and you
just said no.
That’s pretty shitty man, your like his fuckin’ idle
He wants to be just like you, man! He likes you more than I do!
I ain’t that mad though, I just don’t like begin lied to
Remember when we met in Denver?
You said if I write you, you would write back!
See I’m just like you in a way...
I never knew my father neither, he used to always cheat on my
mom and beat her!
I can relate to what your saying in your songs!
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put them on cause
I don’t really got shit else so that shit helps when I’m depressed
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest!
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds,
Its like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me,
See everything you say is real, and I respect you because you tell it
My girlfriend’s jealous because I talk about you 24/7
But she don’t know you like I know you slim...no one does,
She don’t know what it was like for people like us growing up
You gotta call me man, I’ll be the biggest fan you ever lose!
Sincerely yours, Stan
P.S. We should be together too
Repeat Chorus
Dear Mr. I’m too good to Call or Write My Fans!
This will be the last package I ever send your ass!
It’s been six months and still no word!
I don’t deserve it!
I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on them perfect!
So this is my cassette I’m sendin’ you, I hope you hear it!
I’m in a car right now...I’m doin’ 90 on a freeway!
Hey slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "Through the Air of the Night"?
About that guy who could have saved that other guy from drownin’
but didn’t?
And Phil saw it all and at a show he found him?
That’s kind a how this is, you could have rescued me from drownin’!
But now it’s too late, I’m on a 1000 downers now, I’m drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or call
I hope you know, I ripped all your pictures off the wall
I love you slim! We could have been together!
Think about it, you ruined it now, I hope you can’t sleep and
you dream about it!
And when you dream I hope you can’t sleep and you scream about it!
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can’t breath without me
See Slim
Shut up bitch I’m trying to talk!
Hey slim, that’s my girlfriend screamin’ in the trunk!
But I didn’t slit her throat! I just tied her up!
See I ain’t like you! ’Cause if she suffocates, she’ll suffer
more then she’ll die too!
Well, gotta go, I’m almost at the bridge now!
Oh shit, I forgot! How am I supposed to send this shit out?!
Repeat Chorus
Dear Stan,
I meant to write you sooner, but I’ve just been busy!
You said your girlfriend’s pregnant now...how far along is she?
Look, I’m really flattered that you would call your daughter that!
And here’s an autograph for your brother, I wrote it on a starter cap.
I’m sorry I didn’t see you at the show, I must have missed you,
Don’t think I did that shit intentionally, just to diss you!
What’s this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I said that shit just clowning dog, come on, how fucked up is you?
Your guys will miss you Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down
some!
And what’s this shit about us meant to be together? That’s like
the shit that will make me not wanna meet each other!
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other,
but maybe you just need to treat her better!
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you
in time...before you hurt yourself!
I think you’ll be doing just as fine if you just relax a little.
I’m glad I inspire you but Stan, why are you so mad?
Try to understand that I do want you as a fan! I just don’t want
you to do some crazy shit!
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick!
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge and had his
girlfriend in the trunk and she was pregnant with his kid and
in the car they found a tape but it didn’t say who it was to.
Come to think about it, his name was...It was you! DAMN..
